We judge our own relationships against, well, basically every other couple that walks the earth, wondering if they are more in love/have better sex/are better friends/are more compatible/have what it takes to last for a lifetime.
The comparisons go on and on and on. Endlessly.
Who do you compare your relationship to?
The perfectly athletic blonde-and-blue-eyed couple next door?
Harry and Megan?
There's one comparison you're constantly making -- and you don't even know it.
As in “Mom and Dad don’t fight over what type of couch to buy for two months, like my fiancé and I are.”
You’re right: your parents do not spend two months arguing over buying a black Italian leather sectional or something slipcovered and shabby chic.
No, they don’t. Now now, after 25+ years.
But back when they were engaged, they had these same fights
Because these long-married couples also endured their own black leather/shabby chic, getting-to-know-you and figuring-out-our-way of doing things.
It just happened a long time ago.
If you must compare, make it an apple-to-apple comparison
And steer clear of the curated love.
But don’t forget: there was a time when they were beginners at marriage.
Just as you are right now, and as you should be.
Even if you’ve been married before, you know a bit about marriage, but not about being married to this guy.