Texting is convenient, fast, easy. None of all that "Hi" and "Cheers!" stuff to deal with.
But it's destructive for our relationships, writes psychotherapist Ira Israel in this hilarious and wise blog:
Text messaging is an absolutely terrible means of communicating emotions, WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF TEXTING ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS with the possible exception of texting in all capital letters (a.k.a. “shouting”)—LOL!— DUH!—sideways smiley faces and multiple exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....
Texting is quick and easy, but it's devoid of emotion, connection, context, and closeness.
It's terrain that's ripe for misinterpretation and hurt.
I worked with a bride who told me that she and her fiance texted more than 100 times a day, often fighting with each other via text. Some minor problem between them in the morning would escalate into an all-day text argument.
"That's way too much texting," I said, bluntly. "Put the phones away while you are at work, and wait until you get home to talk the problem through."
She didn't like that suggestion much.
Despite her reaction, I've made it not exactly a rule, but a very strong suggestion to all the brides I work with:
No important conversations over text.
Pass info only.
I've seen brides be hurt by texts, have destructive fights with their fiances, families, and closest friends. All of which could be avoided by face-to-face or at least phone contact.
I'm not the only psychotherapist seeing this in their practice. Writes Israel:
I have witnessed the destruction of countless patients’ important relationships by miscommunications caused by texting and what I refer to as “subtexting.
So, decrease the drama in your texting life.
Just pass info. And dive into the complexity that is our intimate human relationships.