Counseling Frequently Asked Questions
Below you will find answers to some frequently asked questions:
How long does each session last?
Sessions are 50 minutes.
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How much does bridal counseling cost?
The fee for each session of bridal counseling is $125, payable by personal check or PayPal.
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How can I pay by PayPal?
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Do you accept health insurance?
No. Bridal counseling is not covered by insurance.
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Who pays for the phone calls?
I pay for all phone calls in US and Canada. All you have to do is be by your phone at the time of our appointment and wait for my call.
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How can bridal counseling help me?
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? Anxious? Sad? Angry and short-tempered? More afraid of getting married than you thought you’d be? Do you lie awake at night worrying – about everything? Do you feel like you can’t talk to anybody about how you’re feeling – because they only want to tell you how happy you should be feeling? Then you can benefit from bridal counseling. Your weekly counseling session is your time to focus on the complex cocktail of emotions your feeling – to sort through your feelings, understand them, learn how to work through them, and grow from them. And, since I’m not “in” your world, I don’t get upset when you say, “I’m not completely happy during my engagement,” the way your family, friends, and fiance may. In fact, I expect to hear that you’re not completely happy, and I’ll help you understand why and help you get happier!
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When’s the best time to begin bridal counseling?
The earlier in your engagement, the better. Why? Because after bridal counseling you’ll be much better equipped to handle the complex and contradictory emotions that naturally arise during most engagements. I’ve had brides begin counseling the day after he pops the question, but most begin between two and six months after they get engaged.
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Do you have a pre-set agenda for each session?
No. Your counseling sessions are all about you, your emotions, and your specific situation. This is your time to talk about whatever you need to explore and understand. I have no pre-set agenda for our work together; every counseling experience is unique and tailored to each bride’s individual needs.
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What is expected of me?
In addition to making yourself available for our weekly sessions, I occasionally give brides “homework” assignments and exercises to complete between sessions, requiring no more than 30 minutes of your time.
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How many sessions do most brides have?
The majority of brides have four to six sessions of bridal counseling, although some continue their sessions throughout their engagements and into their first months of marriage. You can also try bridal counseling for just one session to see if it's helpful for you.
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Do you counsel grooms?
Yes. While the majority of my clients are brides, I work with grooms, too. Truth be told, though: grooms generally struggle on their own for way too long, calling me about 2 weeks before the wedding, when they're under extraordinary stress and pressure, and having a tough time thinking clearly. So, guys: pick up the phone today.
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Do you work with mothers-of-the-bride or groom? Fathers?
Yes. Parents of the bride or groom often experience unexpectedly strong emotions during their children’s engagements and have nowhere to turn to process them. Like brides-to-be, parents also feel pressure to feel only happy. When in reality, they experience deep feelings of loss and sadness around watching their son or daughter move on in their lives. This sadness may get channeled into anger at the fiancé/e, anger at the son/daughter, or obsession with the wedding itself. Parents often pull away from the child who is about to marry, creating artificial distance between them. Does this sound like you? If so, I can help you sort through your feelings of loss, grief, anger, anxiety, or fear, so that you, too, can let go of your child in a healthy way -- maintaining a healthy closeness with your child while creating a healthy distance from her at the same time.
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I’ve got cold feet. Can you tell me whether or not I should go through with the wedding?
No. That’s not my place or my purpose as a bridal counselor to tell anyone whether or not to walk down the aisle. I can, however, try to help you make the best decision you can. In our sessions together, we’ll work to determine if you have cold feet because an issue of yours (that we can work through), an issue of his (and then figure out if you want to live with it), or an issue that is a deal-breaker (and I’ll support you as you call it off). In fact, the main focus of more than half of the brides and grooms that I work with is helping them to unearth the central cause of their cold feet, and then helping them make the best decision for their own individual happiness.
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My wedding got called off. Can you help me?
Yes. I counsel what Rachel Safier, author of There Goes The Bride, calls “almost brides” frequently, helping them process and grieve the endings of their “almost marriages,” understand what went on, how they let themselves almost get married to the wrong person, and move on. If you called it off, you’ll likely go through the whole range of emotions from relief to guilt to grief to regret to joy to fear to elation and back again. And if your wedding was called off on you, you may experience difficult feelings of grief, anger, humiliation, disorientation and more. It’s important to feel and work through all of these feelings after a wedding is called off. Here’s what one Laura, an “almost bride” I worked with, said about her Emotionally Engaged counseling experience:
"When my fiance called off our wedding, I just wanted to be over the pain and past it all. By working with Allison through all the sadness, humiliation, anger at him and his family, and fear about the future, I see how important it was for me to feel the pain, to experience all the other feelings that came along with it, and most importantly, learn from it all. The experience was a gift in disguise -- a journey of self-discovery.
I really appreciated that Allison didn't offer the traditional talk therapy, but something deeper through imagery work and suggestions for reading and other ideas and "homework" to do outside of our session. She is fabulous at what she does. It's been a year since he called off the wedding, and I'm dating. I actually met someone I really like, and we'll see what happens once we get to know each other more...."
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I have a few more quick questions for you. How do I contact you?
Click here to ask Allison a question.
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How do I begin bridal counseling?
Click here to fill in a form that tells me a bit about you, and I’ll contact you by email within 48 hours to schedule your session.
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