Cold Feet Alert: Signs You Should Call It Off
From page 40 of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life
Over the years, I've consulted with many brides- and grooms-to-be as they decide whether to call off a wedding, and I've discovered this tragic fact: too many people talk themselves into getting married even when they know it's wrong because (a) they're afraid of being the bad guy, and (b) they're afraid of causing their fiance(e) pain. These are 2 terrible reasons to say "I do."
If any of the following 20 quotations I've heard from brides (and grooms) have crossed your mind, it may be time to return the ring and cancel the caterer -- before you make a painful, damaging, and expensive mistake that can only be ameliorated by divorce:
1. "Calling it off would be embarrassing for me, him, and our families. I can't do that to all of us."
2. "I feel like my fiance makes my life more difficult and drains me, instead of making my life easier and filling me up."
3. "When I had a dress fitting, for the first time in my life I broke out in hives, just like that scene in 'Sex and the City.'"
4. "We've gone too far in the wedding planning to call it off now."
5. "My parents have spent too much money. They'll kill me."
6. "I can see myself having an affair two, five, ten years down the road."
For the 14 remaining quotes from brides and grooms who should probably call off the wedding, click here to purchase Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life.
In the book, you'll find 4 more "Cold Feet Alerts" that can help you process your feelings of cold feet:
Chapter 3: The "Forever" Questions
Are you asking yourself: "Will we be happy forever? Will we love each other for the next 20, 30 years? How can I be guaranteed he's the one for me?" This Cold Feet Alert teaches you how to work through "The 'Forever' Questions."
Chapter 4: Unraveling The Old Knot before Tying the New One
Sometimes cold feet can look like cold feet, but they're not actually cold feet in the negative, I-need-to-call-off-my-wedding sense. Instead, they're feelings about an old, unresolved issue in your life. This Cold Feet Alert will help you identify the old issue and work through it.
Chapter 5: Temporary vs. Permanent Problems
When a bride-to-be can't slide her wedding invitations into the mailbox, it's a sign that she needs to slow down and pay attention to her anxiety. She needs to articulate and express her fears and concerns and evaluate them one by one. This Cold Feet Alert helps brides sort through and get a grip on her jumbled mass of anxious and fearful feelings.
Chapter 6: Calling Off Your Wedding -- A Practical Guide
If, after putting your relationship and your feelings for your fiance under the microscope in all the preceding Cold Feet Alerts, you've decided that you do in fact need to call off your wedding, this final Cold Feet Alert in the book gives you an idea of what you might expect.
Getting Support
Almost half of all the brides and grooms who contact me are struggling with cold feet, and I help brides sort through their feelings. I also help brides and groom who've called off their weddings or have had their weddings called off on them. Let me help you with this heart-wrenching decision...
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