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Pre-Wedding Jitters Plus:
3 to 6 Months Before The Wedding
THREE TO SIX MONTHS before the wedding can
be a strange and emotionally challenging time for many brides. The planning is
basically done, but it's not time yet to address invitations or make seating
arrangements.
In this empty space, difficult feelings of anger,
sadness, and fear often come up. And unfortunately, since there's nothing that
urgently needs doing, you can't really distract yourself. You have to just feel
the feelings.
Many brides are bewildered
by these big feelings. They believe that their engagement is
supposed to be one of the happiest times of their lives. Yes, happiness is a
major part of being engaged -- you've found your life partner, and you're
getting married! But so are fear, anger, and sadness.
These difficult feelings are normal and necessary
as you make this transition from single to married, from fiancée to wife.
Experiencing and understanding these difficult feelings prepares you for this
change.
Emotions manifest
differently for every bride. Some brides fight with their fiancé,
friends, and parents. Others withdraw into themselves, confused and depressed.
Many obsess about details so much that they are panicky and irritable. All of
these reactions are normal during a major life transition such as getting
married. But it's a lot for one person to handle!
I help brides sort through
these emotions. I help them go within themselves, go inside to
figure out what feelings they aren't feeling -- what feelings they're trying so
hard to avoid by fighting, withdrawing, or being manic about details. Is she
feeling afraid of separating from her family? Angry at her fiancé? Sad about
her parents' divorce? Scared about losing "the girls"? Getting to the core
feeling – not the hysteria surrounding bridesmaids dresses or flower
arrangements – is what separates brides who are merely engaged from those who
are emotionally engaged and willing to learn and deepen into themselves
during their engagements.
I support brides as they explore and experience
these feelings, difficult as it is. Because a feeling, once it is deeply felt,
passes through and subsides. And then the bride is left to experience more
feelings -- especially the joy and magic of this amazing time of life.
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