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Wedding Bereavement Group:  Did you cancel your wedding because of coronavirus?

3/24/2020

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To some in this time of coronavirus, the idea of a Wedding Bereavement Group may seem like an inappropriate response to a global pandemic.

To brides I'm meeting with -- who have canceled completely paid-for weddings, April and May weddings, 'round-the-world honeymoons, and bachelorette parties in Miami Beach -- the opportunity to share the experience with others who really get it sounds like a relief.

Sharing with other women who feel your specific pain, loss, anger and unfairness may be very comforting

It's an opportunity to feel deeply understood.  To have your pain acknowledged and shared and empathized with...because the women you'll meet are feeling the same thing.
​

Each bride will get 5 minutes to share her story, with discussion to follow

I also ask that each bride comes prepared to describe one detail -- the first dance you went to lessons for, the walk down the aisle, the getting dressed with your bridesmaids -- the one detail that breaks your heart to miss out on.  Share it with us -- we want to know.
Who:  You, if you've had to cancel or change any wedding plans

What:  90-minute Zoom meeting

When:  Friday, April 3 at 3pm Eastern

How Much: FREE, this first time, to see if it's helpful. 
 
Limited to 10 brides

To Register:  email me: allison@emotionallyengaged.com

Don't be shy about signing up -- because if nobody else does, you get a free session with me.  I'll be on Zoom, no matter what!  ​

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The 3 Words Brides Need to Hear During Coronavirus

3/17/2020

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You are dealing with something no bride has faced in 102 years

Since the Spanish flu of 1918.

​No one alive on the planet has had to cancel their weddings due to a pandemic of this scale before.

It's crazy.

It's not fair what's happened during your engagement

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So. Not. Fair.  

We all feel that for you. 

​There’s a place in everyone’s heart for brides whose wedding plans have been destroyed by coronavirus.  


When we imagine walking in your shoes right now -- canceling weddings and letting go of long-dreamed-of plans – our hearts break for you.  Don’t forget that.

You are the most brokenhearted, of course

Which is why the three words you need to hear most right now are, “I’m so sorry.”
​

Unfortunately, you're not hearing that enough right now.  

In the past week, I’ve met with brides from Australia to Dublin to Chicago.

They've canceled fully-paid-for weddings. 

They've canceled month-long, once-in-a-lifetime ‘round-the-world honeymoons.

And they've canceled bachelorette parties in Miami. 

​Late spring and summer brides have had their plans thrown into unknown disarray.

All are feeling intense sadness, anger, unfairness, powerlessness, anxiety and hurt  ​

All are feeling alone and misunderstood in their pain.  

​All need compassion and a place to vent and rage and make sense of what has happened to your plans and dreams.
​

Yet they aren’t finding as much kindness as they need.

They receive flippant texts

Texts reading: “So sorry – I know you’ll figure it out for the summer, when this is over!” 

Or “OMG, I feel so bad for you! What are you going to do?” Which makes them feel pressured to be  happy about whatever cobbled-together, half-assed, consolation-prize wedding they might end up with.

Or they beat themselves up, thinking, ‘People are dying; I feel selfish for even feeling bad about this.’

Can you relate?

You're all suffering grief and anger and disappointment.

You may be hiding the depths of your disappointment from others.


Yet I've seen before my eyes on video, my simply saying “I’m so, so sorry,” has helped each woman I spoke with deal a little bit better with her sadness, anger, disappointment and overwhelm. 

Having the pain acknowledged and authentically seen has helped them feel less alone, more understood.

Hearing the genuine “I’m so, so sorry,” helped them start to grieve their beautiful wedding plans 

Their money lost.  Their wedding dreams destroyed.

Being asked in detail what they’re most sad about helped them start to name the losses.

Sharing the deep disappointment made it a bit more bearable.
​

Really, what else is there to say to a bride who canceled her wedding because of coronavirus?

Ask the people in your life to do these 3 things:

1.  Say, "I'm so sorry this happened to you," with a calm, compassionate, open and broken heart.

2.  Repeat it often.

3.  Then shut up and listen.

This is the first in a series of posts for brides in the era of coronavirus.  

​Other topics to come: 
 
Why You’ve Got To Mourn Your Canceled Wedding and Engagement Plans

How to Mourn Your Canceled Wedding and Engagement Plans


Are there other aspects of being a bride during coronavirus you'd like me to address? 

​Send me a note! Or leave a comment below. 
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