Happy 4th of July & Thoughts on July 6 Brides

It's a big day here in the village of Manchester-by-the-Sea, Massachusetts, where I live: parade with homemade floats and marching bands, skydivers, neighborhood BBQs, afternoon at the beach, and fireworks.

I hope you and your fiance are celebrating in whatever way feels best to you.

My thoughts this week are with 2 brides:  A. in California and J. in New Jersey. They're both getting married this Saturday. I know they're busy with last-minute details, and I also know they are both ready, emotionally, for their big days.

A. had some last-minute bumps in the road with her fiance.  The latest report: working through these conflicts has just made her relationship with her soon-to-be husband even stronger. They understand each other better, more deeply. 

That's what engagement's about: getting to know each other on a whole new level.  Being yourselves.  Being real.  And learning how to work together as your true selves.  How to have conflict, how to disagree, and how to work through it.

In our work together, J. in New Jersey came to understand the differences between her extroversion and her fiances introversion and how that plays out in their relationship.  

She learned during her engagement how to ask her fiance for more closeness, more communication, more emotional intimacy...and she got it.  She has it and is excited about her marriage ahead.  

This is what she wrote to me a few weeks ago:

"With only a few short weeks until the big day... I must let you know that things are absolutely wonderful with my fiance!  

I can't believe how much things have changed and am so happy I didn't lose out on an amazing guy because I was getting cold feet, not communicating and simply not understanding that we're just wired differently.

Thank you so so much for your help in getting me to this place of peace.

Boy, was it a bumpy ride emotionally, but now things feel right."  

A. and J.: we all wish you well as you make your walks down the aisle this Saturday.  

And Happy 4th to you and yours.

Allison Moir-Smith

Photo: Arenaflowers.com