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Book to Blog, Chapter 9:  After the Wedding -- Honeymoon and First Year

9/26/2014

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Chapter 9 of Emotionally Engaged addresses what comes after the wedding day: married life.
The wedding you have planned and stressed over for months and months has come..and soon gone.

For many brides the first few days of the honeymoon are romantic, relaxing, and a needed return to a more slow-paced lifestyle.

But then they begin to wonder...

Am I being romantic enough? 

Should we be having great sex everyday? 

Are our conversations as deep and meaningful as they should be?

Below I have included a portion of the chapter that dives into the feeling of coming home from the honeymoon, and into the newly-wedded life.
Emotionally Engaged Chapter 9, Honeymoon and first year of marriage

The Newlywed Cocoon

In my experience, many newlyweds feel conflicted about coming home from their honeymoons. 
On one hand, they’re eager and excited to get home and settle into married life. 

On the other, after being the bride and groom, up on a pedestal and at the center of attention for so many months, it can feel anticlimactic to unpack your bags, watch your tans fade, and get back to humdrum everyday life. 

Some newlyweds even go through wedding withdrawal; post-wedding life can seem flat, dull, and empty. 

After months of filling every spare second stressing about the wedding, checking off the to-do-list, or going to parties thrown in your honor, many newlyweds find themselves staring at each other, thinking, “Okay, what do we do now?” 

Click here to find out more of what Chapter 9 holds!

Please share your thoughts in the comments below, and stay tuned for next week’s installment of ‘Book to Blog’ – Chapter 10!
Allison Moir-Smith
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Book to Blog, Chapter 8: The Big Day -- Being an Emotionally Engaged Bride

9/19/2014

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Chapter 8 of my book focuses on the Big Day itself – the walk down the aisle, the ceremony, the day you become a wife.

Often brides try and plan every detail of the day – not just the venue, date, and food but also the actual emotions they will feel:

I will be an anxious wreck walking down the aisle. 

My tough-guy fiancé will shed a tear when he sees me in my dress. 

My mother will be overly dramatic about...everything.

Below I have included a portion of the chapter that tells the story of Sarah, a bride who almost convinced herself into negative feelings but was able to simply ... feel.
Emotionally Engaged Chapter 8: The Big Day

"It absolutely is the biggest walk of your life," I said to her

"My question to you, however, is this: How do you know – today, two weeks before your wedding – that you’ll be a nervous wreck walking down the aisle fourteen days from now?”

“I don’t,” she relied. “But I’m pretty sure I’m going to be anxious.”

“Okay, but you can’t be certain,” I told her. “What if, instead of convincing yourself that you’ll be nervous just before your ceremony, you tell yourself that you will simply be curious about what you’re feeling? 

What if you make a conscious effort to let in whatever feelings arise, let them course through your body and your mind? What if you treat the feelings you have when you walk down the aisle the same way you did when you were stuffing the envelopes? 

That day, you let yourself feel the pang of sadness about leaving your family, but then a feeling of happiness about marrying Jake quickly followed. Remember that? What if you let one feeling flow through to the next, and let yourself be where you are?”

Click here to find out more of what Chapter 8 holds!

Please share your thoughts in the comments below, and stay tuned for next week’s installment of ‘Book to Blog’ – Chapter 9!
Allison Moir-Smith
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Book to Blog, Chapter 7:  Crossing the Bridge -- Your New Life Takes Shape

9/12/2014

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Chapter 7 begins the second stage of my book: Beidging. 

In Bridging, brides start to look into their futures with happiness and excitement rather than with the anxiety that was so present earlier on.

This is the time when, finally, brides feel ready to cross the bridge into their new identity as a married woman.

Below I have included a snippet of the chapter that I think will speak most clearly to brides, and give them hope that ... all gets better in time.
Emotionally Engaged Chapter 7

Looking forward, not back

Many brides-to-be describe their transitions out of the Ending stage and into the Bridging stage of their engagements like a fog finally lifting. 
For the early months of their engagement, they walked around consumed by feelings of loss and disorientation as they let go of old ways of being. 

They felt that the confusion would never end. They’ve been afraid that they’d be in a down, depressed funk on their wedding day, and that they’d never feel happy or excited about getting married, even though, deep down, they trusted that that was what they wanted to do.

As the wedding approaches , joyful anticipation creeps back in

Once you enter the Bridging stage, you will have made the internal psychological adjustments necessary to begin you new life as a married woman... 

Click here to find out more of what Chapter 7 holds!

Please share your thoughts in the comments below, and stay tuned for next week’s installment of ‘Book to Blog’ – Chapter 8!
Allison Moir-Smith



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Book to Blog, Chapter 6:  The Girls -- Keeping Your Single Girlfriends Close

9/5/2014

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In Chapter 6 of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life I discuss the chill that can descend on warm friendships after your engagement.

While your relationships with married friends may go unaffected, often it is the single friends that distance themselves. 

They begin to feel replaced by your fiancé. Your Mr. Right scares them into thinking they may possibly never find theirs...

Below I have included a small portion of the chapter that tells Pauline’s story. A bride, who many times had been a bridesmaid, keenly aware of the sensitivity her friends needed.
Emotionally Engaged Chapter 6

Four friends, four different outcomes

Lucky for Pauline, Gina was the type of person who put her feelings on the table.

“I’m so happy for you, Pauline,” Gina volunteered just fays after Pauline got engaged.  "And I hope it’s okay to tell you this, but watching you find Mr. Right just makes me worry about myself, you know?”

With Gina, Pauline had it easy, because Gina was able to separate her own feelings into two categories: sad for herself, and happy for Pauline. 

Gina didn’t shy away from her feelings of sadness; she didn’t push the sadness away because it was real for her. 

And voicing her sadness – expressing and sharing it with Pauline—was essential because it made their interactions real and honest. 

Both Gina, and Pauline knew where the other stood, how the other felt, and how the other valued the friendship.

Click here to find out more of what Chapter 6 holds!

Please share your thoughts in the comments below, and stay tuned for next week’s installment of ‘Book to Blog’ – Chapter 7!
Allison Moir-Smith
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