Do you read the New York Times Vows section?
(Back when I lived in NYC as a single woman, my male bosses referred to it as "the girls' sports section." GRRRR. But I digress...)
I still check it out, every week. It's fun to see page after page of photos and announcements of couples married the day before -- where they got married, how they met, what their careers are.
What grabs my attention most are the weekly "State of the Unions" articles, in which a Times reporter revisits one of the couples whose weddings were featured.
Sometimes the pieces are depressing, about how couples drift or divorce. And some are downright sweet -- like last week's by Jane Gordon Julien.
Stuart and Alexandra were married in October, 2001, at Coney Island, a special spot to which they still make annual visits.
Today marks my nephew and his wife's first anniversary.
I was honored to officiate their wedding. Under this glorious tree, in Amelia Island, Florida. (That's me, in the ministerial black, a Universal Life minister for the event.)
This week, I've been reflecting on their wedding day and the ceremony I participated in. And I revisited the words they asked me to say, the words we three wrote together, and my own reflections on their relationship -- how they live and how they treat each other. I share them here
"...Who here has heard about C. &A.'s epically small apartment in New York City?
After about 18 months of marriage, your sense of self will once again stabilize
Below I have included a portion of the Chapter that addresses the concept of ‘For Richer, For Poorer.’
While it may be simple to proudly speak these words on your Big Day, it’s the follow-through that can test you.
For richer, for poorer
Money had always been a tricky territory for Carrie to navigate with Alex.
As you may remember, she threw a fit when she heard about Alex’s $9,000 credit-card debt when they went to apply for a mortgage.
After that experience, even though she wanted her life to be as integrated with Alex’s as possible, Carrie was wary about combining finances and reluctant to open a joint checking account.
She didn’t quite trust that Alex wouldn’t go in the hole again
So the couple divvied up the household bills and traded off buying dinner for each other....
Six months later, Alex was running late to meet his friends for golf, and he didn’t have time to go to the ATM.
“Honey, do you have any money?” Alex asked her, frantically.
“I have lots of cash in my purse,” she replied. “Take what you need.”
As Alex raced out the door, golf clubs crashing together in his bag, Carrie took note of what had happened:
Her money didn't feel like "hers" anymore; it was "their" money
In fact, that incident caused Carrie to reflect that she hadn’t been keeping a running tally for the last few weeks. She’d just stopped keeping track.
“It didn’t matter whose pocket or account it came out of,” she told me, “because it was all family money.”
This is the last installation of our Book-to-Blog series, and we would like to thank our readers for following the posts. To read more of what the book has to hold continue on here ...
How to be a Happier