Category: Brides: Feelings

"Three Months After Getting Engaged, I Started Feeling Uncertain..."

10/24/2018

My uncertainty compounded over a few months of rumination and eventually grew into dread and paralysis.

I was overwhelmed. I constantly had a pit in my stomach. I cried often, and I almost called off my wedding.

I thought that the feelings I was experiencing could ONLY mean that the marriage was not supposed to happen.

From "fetal position" to the happiest wedding day: One bride's very successful bridal counseling experience

10/21/2016

Here's the very successful story of Erin, a 27-year-old bride-to-be, who I helped get married this summer.

Do you see yourself in her story?

Before meeting with Allison, I felt terrified, isolated, and confused.

I was so scared that what I was feeling wasn't "normal."

Scared that seeing Allison meant I had somehow failed at being a bride-to-be.

Scared that I was making the wrong decision in choosing to marry my fiancé.

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Brides.com: The True Story of the Bride Who Tried on 100 Dresses

5/6/2016

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So, how many gowns have you tried on?

My post this week on Brides.com:

There once was a bride,
Wouldn't couldn't be satisfied.
Even after trying on 100 dresses.

Sounds an old-timey limerick or haiku, doesn't it?
Sadly, it isn't: it's the very modern-day true story of a bride I worked with who was still disappointed in her wedding gown, even after trying on more than 100 dresses.

Partly, it's the Internet to blame: there's always that gnawing sense that, if you just click around enough, you will find that 100% perfect dress. We're all plagued by a chronic sense of dissatisfaction, a sense we could find "the one" — if we just put in more time and effort.

But the Internet's not solely to blame here. Because, it turns out, this bride didn't actually have a dress problem. It was a trusting-herself issue....

Click here to read my full post on Brides.com.

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Engaged, Scared and Anxious: How One Bride Overcame Her Engagement Anxiety

3/4/2016

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Here's how one bride worked through her feelings of engagement anxiety

I can tell you how effective bridal counseling can be at dealing with cases of cold feet, engagement depression and engagement anxiety.

But it's far more effective to hear it straight from a bride.

This blog was written by Ashley, author also of Dear Newly Engaged Me: Here's a Laundry List of Things I Wish I'd Known From the Start. Read below about her journey from panicked to peaceful.

How one bride overcame her engagement anxiety

"Eight months before my wedding, I completely freaked out."

"Whenever anyone mentioned the wedding or my fiancé, my throat tightened. I'd get short of breath. My heart raced. I was scared.

Four months earlier, I happily said "yes!" to a wonderful man who understood me inside and out and was perfect on paper.

Before getting engaged, I loved my relationship.

I loved him, felt lucky to be with him, and that we had such a special and magical relationship.

Now, I was no longer attracted to my fiance. I was questioning the whole relationship.

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Brides.com: How I Felt 15 Minutes Before The Ceremony

2/22/2016

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Check out my mini blog series

On Brides.com:

Real Brides Share: How I Felt 15 Minutes Before the Ceremony

"We know you spend a not-insignificant amount of time daydreaming, fantasizing, and wondering what it's going to feel like on your wedding day. So we asked three brides to share their emotional play-by-plays of the hours and minutes leading up to — and right after — the wedding.
Follow this mini blog series, get to know these brides, and learn about the range of emotions they experienced — so you can get a sense of what you may go through on your big day. Here, the brides share how they felt 15 minutes before their wedding ceremony.

15 minutes before the ceremony, I felt...
"A little lonely," said Tina from New York City.

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Engagement Advice: Let's Talk About Your Ring!

1/5/2016

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Is your ring perfect?

Lucky you! Consider yourself blessed.

Because I often hear from brides (and again, just last week, from a bride in my cottage):

"It's beautiful, but Just Not Me."

"I wish he'd asked me what I wanted."
"It's lovely, but it's not quite right, and that makes me feel terrible."

Let's talk about your engagement ring | Emotionally Engaged

When the ring isn't quite right, some brides are sent down a rabbit hole of anxiety:

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Why "Perfect On Paper" Is Not Enough

10/26/2015

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In the past year, I've counseled two clients -- a man and a woman -- who were both engaged to people who were "perfect on paper."

The 2 future spouses had only admirable qualities:

They were kind.
They were good looking
They came from good families.
They were well educated.
They were driven, ambitious, successful.
They'd be good parents.
They''d be good life partners.

The futures looked bright

Both clients believed that they SHOULD want these perfect-on-paper people.

They should want these marriages.

That they'd be crazy to let go of someone who, for all intents and purposes, was perfect for them.

For months, they tried to talk themselves into these marriages

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Brides.com: When Your Best Friend Gets Engaged...and You Don't

4/9/2015

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Ouch.

Read my post on Brides.com on how to handle this tricky and painful situation.

Have any other tips to add?

Share in the comments below!

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Brides.com: What It's REALLY Like to be a Bride

1/26/2015

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Seems like this blog of mine on Brides.com has really resonated with brides. It even prompted one to just pick up the phone and start working with me!

What's It's REALLY Like to be a Bride: Hap-hap-happy and excited every minute of every day, 24/7/365: That's the public face of being a bride.

Friends, family, co-workers mean well, but meeting hyper-enthusiastic and hyper-excited energy about your wedding can be exhausting.

As a bride-to-be, you find yourself saying things like, "Yes, my wedding is in 19 months, and it is very, very, very exciting!"

Or, "I really am enjoying every single moment of getting to know my future mother-in-law better!"

And "Thank you, so very much, for offering me so many creative ideas for my wedding!"

The pressure you feel to be only happy and only excited can really wear you out.....

Click to read rest of blog.

Allison Moir-Smith

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