In the past year, I've counseled two clients -- a man and a woman -- who were both engaged to people who were "perfect on paper."

The 2 future spouses had only admirable qualities: 

• They were kind.
• They were good looking
• They came from good families.
• They were well educated.
• They were driven, ambitious, successful.
• They'd be good parents.
• They''d be good life partners.

Both clients believed that they SHOULD want these perfect-on-paper people.  

They should want these marriages.  

That they'd be crazy to let go of someone who, for all intents and purposes, was perfect for them.

My post on Brides.com this week: Does Having More Sex Make You Happier?

We bet your fiancé's argued this point before: that you'll both be happier if you have more sex.

Now you can have an informed discussion about this age-old couples conundrum, with data from a new study to be published in the August issue of 
The Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization.

Here's how they conducted the study, as reported on the Well Blog of the New York Times: 64 adult couples, all married and heterosexual, completed questionnaires about how often they had sex, how enjoyable it was and how happy they were in general. Half the couples were then told to maintain their sex lives as usual. The other half were told to double the amount of sex they had.

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Here's some practical relationship advice and to-dos, for the next time (oh yes, there will be a next time) you hurt your fiance's feelings.

Check out my post on Brides.com.

Then read the post on Brides.com that I wrote this week.

Surprising new study...that'll change how you feel about hopping into your PJs at 9pm!

This week's brides.com post:

"We all compare our relationships — even when we know it's not good for us. 


Who do you compare yours to? Your annoying Facebook friend with her perfectly curated marriage ("My husband brought me flowers again, third time this week!!!")? The athletic blonde-and-blue-eyed couple next door? George and Amal?


For most brides, the couple they compare their relationship to is their mom and dad. As in "Mom and Dad don't fight over what type of couch to buy for two months, like my fiancé and I are."

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That's what I've been having.

I came across this quote I have to share with you, from Anne Lamott's Help Thanks Wow.

What a great attitude and approach to marriage.

Do you agree? Disagree?

Have you written your "elevator pitch" about why you're marrying your guys, of all the guys on the planet?

Here's why you should, and how you can do it.

Why Are You Marrying Him? on Brides.com

Do you read the New York Times Vows section? 

(Back when I lived in NYC as a single woman, my male bosses referred to it as "the girls' sports section."  GRRRR.  But I digress...)

I still check it out, every week. It's fun to see page after page of photos and announcements of couples married the day before -- where they got married, how they met, what their careers are.  

What grabs my attention most are the weekly "State of the Unions" articles, in which a Times reporter revisits one of the couples whose weddings were featured.  

Sometimes the pieces are depressing, about how couples drift or divorce.  And some are downright sweet -- like last week's by Jane Gordon Julien.

Stuart and Alexandra were married in October, 2001, at Coney Island, a special spot to which they still make annual visits.

Chapter 5 of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life addresses the fact that once your big day arrives, you are officially a ‘We’ instead of a ‘Me’. And that, for any bride, can be hard to swallow.

Although engagements bring excitement, gifts, and endless parties ... there is a lot going on behind closed doors for engaged couples.

• How do we deal with our differences? 
• Will he judge me when my flaws are exposed? 
• Do we even know how to be married?