Blog - Emotionally Engaged

"I was able to focus on the true meaning of my wedding day, not my anxiety."

10/1/2019

A recent note from a bride:

Thank you so much for helping me work through the transition of single to married woman.

I acknowledge that Alex and I would not be where we are today if it wasn't for your support throughout the year and months before the wedding in May.

Going into my wedding day with such a clear and calm mind -- despite the normal exhaustion :) -- allowed me to be fully present and help me to focus on the true meaning of the day, rather than my anxiety.

I really cannot thank you enough for all that you've done (and continue to do) to prepare me for this marriage.

Thank you!!!
Jenny

How I Felt Walking Down The Aisle: My Brides.com Post

3/10/2016

My mini-blog series continues

How 3 brides felt DURING the walk down the aisle.

Your walk down the aisle is the most epic, most photographed, most significant brief walk of your life. How will you feel as you make your way to your soon-to-be husband? You can't predict, but you can learn what three other brides experienced.

Follow this mini blog series, get to know these brides, and learn about the range of emotions they experienced — so you can get a sense of what you may go through on your big day. Here, the brides share how they felt walking down the aisle toward their about-to-be spouse.

Walking down the aisle, I felt...
"I felt so fully myself and completely loved in the moments before and during my walk up the aisle," said Tina from New York City....

Click to read full post.

Brides.com: How I Felt 15 Minutes Before The Ceremony

2/22/2016

Check out my mini blog series

Real Brides Share: How I Felt 15 Minutes Before the Ceremony

"We know you spend a not-insignificant amount of time daydreaming, fantasizing, and wondering what it's going to feel like on your wedding day. So we asked three brides to share their emotional play-by-plays of the hours and minutes leading up to — and right after — the wedding.
Follow this mini blog series, get to know these brides, and learn about the range of emotions they experienced — so you can get a sense of what you may go through on your big day. Here, the brides share how they felt 15 minutes before their wedding ceremony.

15 minutes before the ceremony, I felt...
"A little lonely," said Tina from New York City.

Brides.com: 4 Times to Take a Time Out on Your Wedding Day

6/2/2015

From last week's post on Brides.com:

"If you don't watch it, your eight-hour wedding could fly by in a flurry of activity, people, emotion and excitement. It's important to take a few private moments to help you be fully present for this life-changing event. Here, four times it's okay to call "time out" on your big day...."

Click to read full post.

And make sure you schedule in these brief moments on YOUR wedding day!

Brides.com: 10 Reasons Why You Should Be Nervous Walking Down the Aisle (and 5 Reasons You Shouldn't)

12/11/2014

I love Thursdays, when my Brides.com blogs go live!

Check out this week's: Why it's totally ok to be nervous when you walk down the aisle

Why it's totally ok to be nervous when you walk down the aisle: http://t.co/edtlG5iHRF @emo_engaged pic.twitter.com/X6q8s4Kg3N
— BRIDES (@brides) December 11, 2014

Don't miss next week's post! Follow me on Twitter or Facebook

Book to Blog, Chapter 8: The Big Day -- Being an Emotionally Engaged Bride

9/19/2014

Chapter 8 of my book focuses on the Big Day itself – the walk down the aisle, the ceremony, the day you become a wife.

Often brides try and plan every detail of the day – not just the venue, date, and food but also the actual emotions they will feel:

I will be an anxious wreck walking down the aisle.

My tough-guy fiancé will shed a tear when he sees me in my dress.

My mother will be overly dramatic about...everything.

Below I have included a portion of the chapter that tells the story of Sarah, a bride who almost convinced herself into negative feelings but was able to simply ... feel.

Emotionally Engaged Chapter 8: The Big Day

"It absolutely is the biggest walk of your life," I said to her

"My question to you, however, is this: How do you know – today, two weeks before your wedding – that you’ll be a nervous wreck walking down the aisle fourteen days from now?”

“I don’t,” she relied. “But I’m pretty sure I’m going to be anxious.”

“Okay, but you can’t be certain,” I told her. “What if, instead of convincing yourself that you’ll be nervous just before your ceremony, you tell yourself that you will simply be curious about what you’re feeling?

What if you make a conscious effort to let in whatever feelings arise, let them course through your body and your mind? What if you treat the feelings you have when you walk down the aisle the same way you did when you were stuffing the envelopes?

That day, you let yourself feel the pang of sadness about leaving your family, but then a feeling of happiness about marrying Jake quickly followed. Remember that? What if you let one feeling flow through to the next, and let yourself be where you are?”

Click here to find out more of what Chapter 8 holds!

Please share your thoughts in the comments below, and stay tuned for next week’s installment of ‘Book to Blog’ – Chapter 9!

Allison Moir-Smith

How to be a calm bride on your wedding day: 7 tips from a bridal counselor

5/9/2014

How to be a calm bride on your wedding day

One reason your wedding is called your "big day" is because of the supersized emotions you'll probably feel.

The flood of love for your brand-new husband. The joy of being surrounded by your nearest and dearest. The stress of pulling off this big event. The twinge of sadness coupled with excitement as you walk down the aisle. The lighthearted fun and wildness when it's finally time to party. So much going on all at once!

Here are 7 tips that can help you:

stay connected to yourself
feel your emotions as they are happening
be present on your wedding day.

Keep these in mind, and you won't have to watch your wedding day on video when you return from your honeymoon just to remember what happened. You'll be fully present.

7 tips for how to be a calm bride on your wedding day

The father-daughter dance is just the tip of the iceberg: Dads, Daughters, Emotions and Weddings

4/14/2014

Weddings are rough on our dear old Dads.

Traditionally, they pay for our weddings.

And they pay, emotionally, too.

Rationally, your Dad’s thrilled about your wedding

He's happy you’ve found the right guy, and he’s excited about the prospect of grandchildren.

Emotionally, your Dad may be reeling

And he may not even know it.

Weddings can ignite deep, unruly, Oedipal, raw stuff for some Dads.

It's normal for Dads to feel really sad he’s losing you. Engagement, as I describe in my book, can be a time of grief and loss for everyone in your family.

Nervous About Being the Center of Attention On Your Wedding Day? 10 Reasons Why You Should, and 5 Reasons You Shouldn't

4/8/2014

Some brides just can't wait to be the center of attention on their wedding days. It's their time to shine, their dream come true. They love the spotlight. They're wired that way.

Other brides feel a whisper of dread when they imagine walking down the aisle.

Maybe you're a really private person.
Maybe you're introverted.
Maybe you're downright shy.
Maybe you feel pressure to perform.

That makes sense, because weddings are both intensely private and profoundly public

All eyes are on you, as you commit the intimate act of joining together for the rest of your lives.

So when someone says to you: “Don’t be nervous walking down the aisle," you think, "Um, how?"

You’re going to hear "don't be nervous" from everybody – your rabbi, your minister. Your maid of honor, your bridesmaids. Your Mom, your Dad. Your wedding coordinator. Even those teeny tiny flower girls might tell you: “Don’t be nervous.”

Don’t be nervous? Yeah, right. Are they the ones wearing the big, white dress, with all eyes on them, about to make a lifelong decision? We think not.

Here are 10 reasons why you should expect to be nervous:

1. It is the grandest of entrances.

2. It is one of those Big Moments in life.

3. It is silent.

4. It is ceremonial: your guests will stand to honor you.

5. It is transformative: you are walking out of one stage of your life and into a new one.

6. It is unknown and unpredictable: you can try to anticipate how you’re going to feel, but in the moment, you can’t control it. (Nor should you, if you want to be authentic.)

7. It is sad: just look at your wistful Mom and Dad.

8. It is powerful and moving: just look at your choked-up fiancé.

9. It is the most photographed walk of your life: how odd it is to be the subject of paparazzos.

10. It is nothing short of life changing and profound.

It’s OK to be nervous – got it?

Here are 5 reasons to counter-balance your nervousness:

1. You are not alone. Whether or not you walk with your Dad, parents, or solo, you are not alone. You’ve surrounded yourself with your nearest and dearest.

2. It’s epic and ancient. Think of the billions of brides who’ve come before you. You are walking in their footsteps. We think this is a pretty cool concept.

3. It’s a forgiving crowd.  Remember: you’re not giving work presentation in front of your cutthroat co-workers. Everyone in this crowd is so happy for you.

4. He’s waiting at the end of the aisle.  This wonderful man you’ve chosen, who’ll walk with you in life til the end of your days.

5. This is what you want.  This man. This life. This future. It all begins now. All you have to do is take that walk down the aisle.

Want more personalized tips for your walk down the aisle? Contact me for a free 15-min video consultation. Let's meet!

Let me help you feel better prepared for your wedding day. Schedule your consultation now.

Allison Moir-Smith

A Wedding is NOT just a Big Party

1/29/2014

I'm sure you've heard -- or even thought yourself -- that your wedding is just a big party, with a marriage ceremony at the beginning.

I ask you:

How many parties have you attended from which you've gone home with a new husband who has the power to make life-and-death decisions for you, a new branch on your family tree, and (possibly) a new last name?

I rest my case.

Need some emotional help as you plan the
"biggest party of your life"?

Let's meet!

FREE 15-min. CONSULT

Keywords: #weddingstress, #bridestress, #whyweddingstressful

Allison Moir-Smith