Finally, I get to share with you that I'm now a blogger on brides.com!
This has been in the works for a few months, and I'm thrilled to announce my first post just went live. I'll post all forthcoming weekly blogs here.
Visit brides.com and learn "How to Deal with Bad Wedding Ideas in 3 Easy Steps." And do the 3 steps!
Don't miss next week's post!
Nearly every bride I work with asks me: "Where is all this stress, depression, anxiety and worry coming from?"
"I thought this was going to be the happiest time of my life!
But I'm upset and even sad much of the time.
(I know I want to marry my fiance, so it's not cold feet.)
What gives?" (Or, more often, "WTF?")
1. You are planning the most expensive and elaborate party of your life…with 2 Moms
Solution: You and your fiancé define for yourselves 3 non-negotiables each for your wedding – 3 things each you are unwilling to compromise on. Make sure you get those things, done perfectly, and then be willing to be influenced on the rest. Especially if parents are paying.
2. You leave that "party" -- a.k.a. your wedding -- a very changed woman.
Solution: Everything about your wedding feels overwrought and bigger than it should be because, well, it is. For example, the stress you feel when you can’t find the right bridesmaids dress isn’t totally about the design and color of the dress. Psychologically, you’re also working through how you’re going to “fit” all these important women into your new, unknown, married life with you. Be aware of the deeper levels always going on. (Read also: Why it may be healthy to obsess about your wedding.)
3. You're mourning -- yes, mourning.
Solution: Give yourself time and space to just feel. Reflect. Journal. Acknowledge the passing of time, the change in identity, the growing up that is going on. Mourning is background music playing in your mind right now. Let it become foreground music occasionally to work through it.
A Wedding is NOT just a Big Party
I'm sure you've heard -- or even thought yourself -- that your wedding is just a big party, with a marriage ceremony at the beginning.
I ask you:
How many parties have you attended from which you've gone home with a new husband who has the power to make life-and-death decisions for you, a new branch on your family tree, and (possibly) a new last name?
I rest my case.
Need some emotional help as you plan the
The wedding industry complex is the bride's equivalent of Cyber Monday and it's enough, as one writer put here in her blog, to make you "want to gouge your eyes out." (From A Practical Wedding)
But your wedding planning need not be so intense.
I can help you put it in a new perspective. If you or someone you know is about to get married and feeling overwhelmed by all consumerism of wedding planning, call me!
Are you going on a "mini-moon"?
Fun piece in this Sunday's NY Times on the new trend of taking a "mini-moon" right after the wedding and the official honeymoon a few months later.
I love this new trend, and wish it had been going on when I got married back in 2002. Because I felt like the brides quoted in the piece (and I bet you do too):
Interesting statistic: of the 38 couples married at the Whiteface Lodge in Lake Placid, NY, half took mini-moons after their weddings. To read full article, click here.
I can think of 3 brides I worked with who married this summer who are taking "mini-moons."
How about you? What are you doing?
Brides often get a bad rap for being "Bridezillas" -- demanding, detail-obsessed, unyielding, even selfish and argumentative.
But as I explain in this this interview on RadioMD with Melanie Cole, MS, "How to Deal with a Bridezilla," there's a reason for all this bridal drama....and there are some very helpful ways that bridesmaids and friends of the bride can do and say to the bride to dial it down.
To listen to this 10-minute interview, click here.
And be sure to pass it along to your bridesmaids, so they can help move out of crisis-mode and re-focus on what's truly important: getting married.
Feeling like a bridezilla? Contact me for a free 15-minute video consultation. I'll be in touch within 24 hours.
How to be a Happier
Book To Blog
Brides: Success Stories
Dear Newly Engaged Me
Help For Brides
Sessions W Brides