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Do You Really Want This Marriage?

4/5/2013

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Early spring is always busy at Emotionally Engaged.

Big deposits are due for spring weddings, and that causes brides to fully face what they are doing with their lives.

So I'm busy. Wonderfully busy.

I have a great new group of brides from all over the globe working with me.  This week, I've been finding myself asking many of them one very simple question:

"Do you want this marriage?"

The answers are all over the map.

"No, not this relationship as it stands right now," said one bride.

"Um, I really don't know," said another. "That's why I contacted you."

"Yes, absolutely, yes," say most brides I work with.  And they quickly follow up by saying, "So why am I feeling so anxious and chaotic inside right now?  I know I want to marry him, so why do I feel like this?"

There are many reasons why some brides feel overwhelmed and anxious.  Here are some of the emotional challenges I worked with brides on this week:
  • Getting "financially naked" with your fiance -- how important it is, how vulnerable you might feel, but ultimately how much comfort it will bring knowing the facts
  • Letting go of your own apartment or home -- how sad, difficult and confusing that is, because you know you want to live with him
  • Understanding the psychology of your & his families and how it plays out in your relationship -- the marriages you both grew up in, the patterns you both learned
See?  These anxiety-causing issues aren't so much about the relationship or marriage, but about mourning the end of your single life, adjusting to the intimacy of creating a life together as a married couple, and getting to know each other on a whole new level.

There's a LOT going on inside brides just like you.

If you're struggling with an amorphous sense of worry and anxiety and want to get to the bottom of what's going on, contact me for a free 15-minute video consultation. 



Together, we can get to YOUR core issue. 

Allison Moir-Smith
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