Emotionally Engaged
617-935-3362
  • Free Consult
  • Unhappy Bride
  • Brides
    • Why???
    • What Brides Say
    • Could This Be You?
    • Post-Wedding
    • FAQs
    • Book
  • Grooms
  • Parents
  • Cold Feet
  • About
    • Media Appearances
  • Blog

From Brides.com: How Do You REALLY Feel About Your Engagement Ring?

12/31/2016

 
For all you newly engaged brides out there, my Dec 26 post on Brides.com:

Do you love it? Did he nail it?

Lucky you!

​We’re happy for you that your engagement ring hasn’t created any strife or stress.

Not all brides are so enthused.

Some are lukewarm about their rings; it’s a few degrees off from what they would have chosen for themselves. 

Some are embarrassed by the size of the diamond, be it too big or too small. 

Some are angry and hurt, because their guy completely missed the mark. 
Picture

There's probably not anything objectively wrong about the ring.

We can all agree that it’s a beautiful piece of jewelry – but something’s amiss.

What to do? First, see the ring for what it is: a gift of love.

It’s not just a rare rock in a mineral.

It’s a promise of a lifetime together. 

A future together, of love, of trust, of family, of children, of sharing a life. 

​Viewed this way, the symbolism of even a not-quite-perfect ring can become a better fit.  Sit with this for a few days and see how your feelings about your ring change.

If your ring still nags, your next step is to assess your fiance's emotional investment in it.

Can you tell if he got talked into this year’s “hottest trend” or pushed around by the salesperson at the jewelry store?  

Was it a quick purchase, because he felt overwhelmed by the choices? 

Was he clueless?  

​If so, he may not be very attached to the ring and therefore more open (and less offended) if you want to exchange it for another. ​

​Say something like:  

“Baby, thank you so much for this ring.  I’m really grateful.  But I had a vision for my engagement ring – stuff that you couldn’t know when you chose one. Can we go together to the jewelry store and pick something that’s totally ‘me’? Is that OK with you?”

Or did your fiance work his butt off?

Educate himself to become an expert in cut, carat and clarity? 

Did go to the diamond district, hand-select the gem, and secretly design the ring with a jewelry designer?

In short, is he really proud of your engagement ring? 
​If so, then tread very, very gently.

You can’t tell your love that his pride and joy – his personal Mona Lisa -- is crappy. 

Consider his feelings, and remember that, in getting married, your life is not just your own anymore.

His needs, feelings, wants – and yes, his taste – are now as important as yours. 

It’s the two of you now, not just “me.”

We're not saying wear a ring that you hate for a lifetime.

We’re not saying wear a ring that you hate for a lifetime. 

But think twice (or three times, or four times) before asking for a new ring. 

Is your vision of your ring really worth crushing him over?

Or can you see your ring the gift of love and future that it is?


​
Allison Moir-Smith is a bridal counselor specializing in engagement anxiety and cold feet and the creator of The Emotionally Intelligent Engagement video series.

Comments are closed.

    How to be a Happier
    ​Bride-to-Be

    Picture

    Free Consultation

    Blog Categories

    All
    Advice
    Anxiety
    Book To Blog
    Brides.com Blogs
    Brides: Feelings
    Brides: Sessions
    Brides: Success Stories
    Cold Feet
    Dear Newly Engaged Me
    Depression
    Emotionally Engaged
    Emotions
    Engagement
    Family
    Grief
    Help For Brides
    Holidays
    Love
    Mother
    Myths
    Psychology
    Real Emotions
    Relationships
    Sessions W Brides
    Wedding Day
    Wedding Planning
    Wedding Stress

    Archives

    May 2022
    April 2021
    April 2020
    March 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    December 2017
    March 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

    RSS Feed

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Free Consult
Cold Feet
Contact

Helping brides & grooms feel happier, calmer and better prepared for marriage since 2002.
​