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How to be a calm bride on your wedding day:  7 tips from a bridal counselor

5/9/2014

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How to be a calm bride on your wedding day
One reason your wedding is called your "big day" is because of the supersized emotions you'll probably feel.  

The flood of love for your brand-new husband.  The joy of being surrounded by your nearest and dearest. The stress of pulling off this big event.  The twinge of sadness coupled with excitement as you walk down the aisle.  The lighthearted fun and wildness when it's finally time to party.  So much going on all at once! 

Here are 7 tips that can help you:
  • stay connected to yourself
  • feel your emotions as they are happening
  • be present on your wedding day.

Keep these in mind, and you won't have to watch your wedding day on video when you return from your honeymoon just to remember what happened.  You'll be fully present.

7 tips for how to be a calm bride on your wedding day

1.  Breathe

Wedding Day Tip for Bride 1: Breathe
If you're not breathing, you're probably not feeling.

2.  Let yourself feel whatever you feel

Wedding Day Tip for Bride 2: Feel whatever you feel
This is the goal.  You won't be able to fully predict your emotional state that day, so all you can prepare for is lots of feelings.  The key is to let the feelings flow through you, one after another.

3.  Accept that sometimes you won't be in the moment

Wedding Day Tip for Bride 3: Accept that sometimes you won't be in the moment
Allow yourself to have moments of what I call "Bride Brain" in which you regroup and reconnect to yourself. It's OK to zone out and disappear into yourself or escape to the ladies' room to steal a quick moment alone.  If you take a break from the emotional intensity from time to time on your wedding day, you'll be able to jump back in and be fully present when you are ready.

4.  Connect with your brand-new husband

Wedding Day Tip for Bride 4: Connect with your Husband
Take a few moments, just the two of you.  Take a little walk away from the crowd to get some privacy.  Focus on each other. Gaze into each other's eyes.  Feel the fullness of your love, the wonder of what you're going through together.  All the wedding hoopla is about your union, so feel united!

5.  Be a guest at your own wedding

Wedding Day Tip for Brides 5: Be a Guest at Your Own Wedding
It's your day.  Step back, look around the church, the temple, the hall, the room.  Enjoy the fruits of your labors -- the favors, the details.  Taste the food.  Drink the champagne.  Visit with guests who've flown in from afar.  Dance.  Have fun. Be a guest at your own wedding

6.  Let go of perfectionism

Wedding Day Tip for Bride 6: Let Go of Perfectionism
Do whatever advance planning you need to, but when the big day arrives, let your wedding be what it wants to be.  An event like this will have its own personality, rhythm, and soul.  Magical, intangible elements can't be planned (and you wouldn't want them to be.)  They just happen, so make room for the unexpected.

7.  Be delighted by spontaneity

Wedding Day Tip for Bride 7: Be Delighted by Spontaneity
As my brand-new husband and I started cutting our wedding cake, a drippy solo saxophone began warbling. "Oh my God...is that Kenny G?" I gasped.  I was horrified,embarrassed to have this cheesy music accompany this big, public, ceremonial moment.  It was so absurd that it was hilarious.   Today, 12 years later, the memories and photos of cutting the cake to the cheesy Kenny G song are some of our most treasured, charming and beloved of our wedding day.  Would I have selected Kenny G to serenade us as we cut the cake?  No way!  But in a funny way, I'm so glad he did.  It was a great, unforgettable, unscripted moment of hilarity and fun. 

What tips would you add to this list?

Comment below!
Allison Moir-Smith
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