"Marriage is fun. It's joyous. It's really exciting," the husband says

Do you read the New York Times Vows section? 

(Back when I lived in NYC as a single woman, my male bosses referred to it as "the girls' sports section."  GRRRR.  But I digress...)

I still check it out, every week. It's fun to see page after page of photos and announcements of couples married the day before -- where they got married, how they met, what their careers are.  

What grabs my attention most are the weekly "State of the Unions" articles, in which a Times reporter revisits one of the couples whose weddings were featured.  

Sometimes the pieces are depressing, about how couples drift or divorce.  And some are downright sweet -- like last week's by Jane Gordon Julien.

Stuart and Alexandra were married in October, 2001, at Coney Island, a special spot to which they still make annual visits.

On their wedding day in 2001 on Coney Island. Credit Deidre Schoo for The New York Times

The bride was a marriage skeptic. She just wasn't sure about it

She waited until her mid-30s to make the commitment.  (Hmmm. Sounds familiar to me!)

Then she fell, hard, for Stuart, "the purest soul I've ever met."

But marriage was important to Stuart -- he wanted it:  "it was saying out loud to everyone and especially ourselves -- individually and collectively -- 'I choose you.'"

"It's agreeing to be a willing participant with another person permanently in addressing and solving problems."

As in any marriage, issues come up.  Stuart was professionally very successful, but his workaholism left Alexandra lonely in their life.  Then Stuart had health issues and was laid off from his job, and his priorities changed:  "Every morning, with a newfound sense of discovery and gratitude, eh got up in the dark, made coffee and for an hour sat and talked with his wife."

This dramatic change in Stuart's priorities had a "cumulative effect on Ms. Mann's opinion of marriage."

"I am now a marriage poster child.  The joy that it brings me is unfathomable," says the wife.

Thank you, Stuart and Alexandra, for offering us all a glimpse into your 13-year marriage.  

Isn't it inspiring for you all, as brides-to-be, to read this, as you're on the threshold of your own marriage?

To think that in 13 years, your husband could potentially say this?: 

"Marriage is fun.  It's joyous.  It's really exciting.  And it's a sheild against everything that's out there.  
It's safety and security and a refuge from the noise and the confusion and the disenfranchised and the difficult."

Click for the full article.

Allison Moir-Smith