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Relationship lessons of last year's Boston Marathon still apply

4/21/2014

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Picture (Jared Wickerham/Getty)
It's a joyful, sunny day today here in Boston, with Meb Keflezighi of San Diego winning the Boston Marathon, the first American to win the race in 31 years.  

We watched it on TV, and I wept as he rounded the corner onto Boylston Street, all the way to the finish line.

What a sweet moment, day, event, and experience for all of New England to reclaim this event, in joy and in peace.

Last year's bombings and their aftermath have not been far from anyone's mind today, of course, and I was reminded of this post I wrote last year, one week after the marathon bombing in 2013.  The lessons of that extreme period of time still apply to all of our relationships, so I thought I'd repost it here today. 

Way to go MEB!

From 2013: 
What did you learn during the Boston lockdown?

Boston magazine 2013 marathon cover2013 Cover of Boston Magazine
My family and I live 45 minutes north of Boston.

We were far enough away to be safe from the bombings and the manhunt, and we were close enough to be deeply affected.  

Friends and family were on lockdown last Friday. 

Brides and grooms that I work with were, too.  

My thoughts kept circling back to them:

How were they dealing, as a couple, under the extreme stress?

What was it like to be cooped up in their apartments under those terrifying circumstances?

Were they coming together?  Helping each other?  Comforting one another? Supporting each other? Were they connected, kind, sympathetic and gentle with each other?

Or did the stress of the situation expose cracks in their relationship?  Were they impatient, critical, unkind?
Did they flee to separate rooms to ride it out alone? 

What were they learning about each other's character during the lockdown?  Did they like what they saw and experienced...  or not?

Lockdowns don't happen every day in a marriage.  But you and your fiance will, in the course of your lifetime together, go through times of extreme stress.  

The question is:  Does extreme stress bring you together...or push you apart?  

Allison Moir-Smith
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