Nearly all brides and grooms have this fixed idea -- this fantasy -- that their engagement will be love and romance 24/7
It's a stressful time for engaged couples as well.
Many engaged couples report more fighting and less sex.
Once intensely private, your relationship has now become public property
You're discovering personality differences and relationship challenges that never came up when you were just dating
You may also be buying cars and homes together, and as you sign both of your names on the dotted line, you’re learning about each other on a whole new level, finding out about new strengths and weaknesses, idiosyncrasies and quirks, angels and devils within each other.
“What I want is for someone else to plan our wedding for us,” bride-to-be Erica commented to me. “And then we’ll do it again in five years, when we’re settled into marriage and know each other even better.”
Engagement can be a time of turbulence for couples
That's perfectly normal. And, I'd argue, necessary. Here's why:
During your engagement, you're getting to know each other on a whole new level, even if you've dated for years. You're learning how to live more intimately, to make big decisions together, to deal with each other's families, to understand each other's different needs for closeness, communication, solitude, sex.
All while planning the biggest, most important, and most expensive party of your life.
Have respect for, and keep top of mind, these big changes your relationship's undergoing as you plan your wedding
There's a LOT going on in the private life of an engaged couple....that's normal, that's healthy, and that's OK.