By bride-to-be L.
I’ve been engaged for 6 months, and I have more than a year before the wedding.
I must say: engagement didn’t come easy for me.
When my boyfriend asked me to marry him 3 months before we actually became engaged, I said what I felt in my heart and in my head at the time: “I don’t know.”
Did I love him enough to be married to him forever?
How do I know how I will feel about our marriage in 5 years, 10 years, or even 40 years?
How do I know that the little questions that arise about whether he is “the one” aren’t really my intuition telling me that he isn’t?
Is marriage even right for us? Is marriage right for me?
I come from a family of divorced (but happily remarried) parents
I also saw firsthand with a close family member how marriage could break two people down to their absolute lowest level, and that scared me.
And I’ve witnessed how many other friends and acquaintances were taking alternative routes to partnership – such as having a family without the “marriage contract” – and it seemed to be working for them.
So I struggled for a long time with the idea of marriage and what it represents to me
But much of my indifference and/or anxiety about marriage shifted when I realized the following things:
1. While marriage may not mean a lot to me, it means a lot to my partner
2. I can’t predict, analyze, and “what if...” everything – especially our long-term partnership
And right now, the love we have, the trust we’ve built, and the life we’ve envisioned feels right.
3. There is no “perfect” marriage
And even when it’s not easy and effortless, you will still be brought back together because it’s “meant to be.”
These expectations aren't reality
So while I’m still working out what marriage means to me in my relationship and life, I can say that I’m looking forward to making our partnership official...