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Emotionally Engaged: A Groom's Experience

12/8/2015

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After I work with clients, I like to get feedback about our time together. It not only helps me improve my craft, but I like to think it also helps to remind them of how far they have come.

Below are thoughts from a groom I recently worked with -- Nick, an engineer from Sacramento, California.  

​Yes, you read that correctly -- I work with grooms too!  I know guys don't always LOVE asking for help, but there's something to be said for a man that is willing to admit he can't do everything alone ... That's our kind of guy:  cue the applause! 
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Before I contacted Allison, I felt overwhelmed.

Unable to deal with the the complexities of both my changing situations and the emotions that went along with them.

​My analytical brain was on overdrive, and I knew I wasn't in a good place. I knew I had found the woman I wanted to marry, but I was unsure of whether I could go through with it.

​How could I be absolutely sure I was doing the right thing?

I faced a very serious choice.

Life had conspired to make me choose between my fiance and a job I had always wanted.  My personal and professional lives were in direct conflict. 

My work with Allison helped me sort out my priorities and realize what was truly important to me. Had I not taken that time, not only could I have lost the love of my life, I could have set the precedent that in my life that job status and prestige came before my personal needs.  I'm forever thankful that I was able to avoid that future.

Working with Allison, I learned it's OK to feel overwhelmed at times.

And importantly, that my feelings weren't uncommon for people getting married. 

​I learned that sometimes being the right person going into a marriage is just important as finding the right person.  In my case, there were some things I needed to process in order to be that right person.

Allison helped me to recognize, come to terms with, and move past the hangups and baggage that I was unknowingly bringing into my marriage, so that I could leave it at the door when I moved into my married life.

On my wedding day, I felt an amazing sense of peaceful excitement.

I had not only found the right woman, I had done the work to ensure that I was the right man.

Now married, I'm so thankful for the time I spent with Allison.

As my new wife and I sort out our life together and run into difficult decisions or issues, I remind myself that this is a process, and that, just as I needed time to prepare myself before marriage, our marriage itself needs time to settle in and grow. 

​Allison's counseling had a huge influence on my ability to see that and allow it to happen now.
Keywords: Marriage, Relationship, Groom, Wedding, Engagement, Love, Married, Bride, Counseling, Therapy ​​
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