Emotionally Engaged
617-935-3362
  • Free Consult
  • Unhappy Bride
  • Brides
    • Why???
    • What Brides Say
    • Could This Be You?
    • Post-Wedding
    • FAQs
    • Book
  • Grooms
  • Parents
  • Cold Feet
  • About
    • Media Appearances
  • Blog

Engagement Advice: Let's Talk About Your Ring!

1/5/2016

0 Comments

 
Is your ring perfect?  

​Lucky you! Consider yourself blessed.


Because I often hear from brides (and again, just last week, from a bride in my cottage):

"It's beautiful, but Just Not Me."

"I wish he'd asked me what I wanted."
"It's lovely, but it's not quite right, and that makes me feel terrible."
Let's talk about your engagement ring | Emotionally Engaged

When the ring isn't quite right, some brides are sent down a rabbit hole of anxiety:

"If he knew me better," they think," he'd never have gotten a ring that looks like this. Doesn't he know I'm more eclectic than classic?  Does this mean he really doesn't know me?"

Do you see how brides get worked up about their engagement rings?

Stop.  Don't go there.  
Here's why:

Consider how your fiance chose your ring.

Step 1:  Extensive internet research, schooling himself on cut, color, clarity.  This is all new and foreign territory to him.  Before proposing to you, it's safe to say that he put ZERO thought into engagement rings. He's a total beginner.

Step 2:  Enter jewelry shop for first time. He's entered new and foreign territory and is required to plunk down a big chunk of change he doesn't really understand.

Step 3:  Unwittingly allow jeweler (who needs to move inventory) to persuade him into a ring.  Has the jeweler ever met you before?  Seen YOUR style and aesthetic? Didn't think so...

In the jewelry store, he's flying blind. A total beginner.

He may also not have an awareness of or appreciation for aesthetic nuances -- white vs. yellow gold.  Pear vs. princess vs. emerald cut vs radiant.  What "vintage" means to you.

​Consider this analogy:  Say you want to buy your fiance an engagement gift.  Something as expensive as your ring, and something meaningful to him.  But something you know nothing about.


Let's pretend he's a fly fisherman (fly rods can be super expensive), and you decide on a top-of-the-line rod.  So you go online, do research, learn about options, prices, add-ons.  And you quickly become overwhelmed. Out of your depths.  

So you do a little covert research, asking him subtle questions, sneaking peeks at the gear he already owns. And you research again, this time at the Orvis store. Salespeople ask you questions about his taste, techniques, conditions he fishes in....questions that you can't even begin to answer.  They try to sell you (and upsell you, and upsell you, and upsell you).  Until finally you say, ""I have no clue what I'm doing, but this looks good enough to me. I really hope he likes it."

As he unwraps the gift, you feel anxious, nervous and vulnerable. You've just laid down a lot of cash, and you don't even know if you're in the ballpark.  If he'll even like it, because you made your best guess, because you're a complete beginner at buying a fly rod.

​That's exactly what your fiance went through buying your ring.

Your fiance put enormous thought, effort, and money into it. He did his absolute best.

But he's NOT you. He can't intuit what you want, what you've been dreaming about, what latest style of ring has captured your attention. He'd not a mind reader.

If your ring is Just Not Me, see his effort for what it truly is: love.

See the money he paid for it as love.
See the time he put into buying it as love.
See the vulnerability he felt giving it to you as love.
See his willingness to make adjustments or buy a new ring as love

It doesn't mean he doesn't know you.  It means he's a beginner at buying engagement rings.

So please cut the guy some slack and take my one piece of advice about your engagement ring:  See all his effort, research, time and money as the love for you that it is.
​
Keywords: #engagement #engagementring #diamond #diamondring #engaged #thewrongring #dontlikemyring #fiancepickedwrongring #hatemyengagementring ​
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    How to be a Happier
    ​Bride-to-Be

    Picture

    Free Consultation

    Blog Categories

    All
    Advice
    Anxiety
    Book To Blog
    Brides.com Blogs
    Brides: Feelings
    Brides: Sessions
    Brides: Success Stories
    Cold Feet
    Dear Newly Engaged Me
    Depression
    Emotionally Engaged
    Emotions
    Engagement
    Family
    Grief
    Help For Brides
    Holidays
    Love
    Mother
    Myths
    Psychology
    Real Emotions
    Relationships
    Sessions W Brides
    Wedding Day
    Wedding Planning
    Wedding Stress

    Archives

    May 2022
    April 2021
    April 2020
    March 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    December 2017
    March 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

    RSS Feed

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Free Consult
Cold Feet
Contact

Helping brides & grooms feel happier, calmer and better prepared for marriage since 2002.
​