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I work with a lot of super-smart brides — academics, lawyers, scientists, doctors — highly intellectual women who have spent years developing their abilities to think through problems.

Their analytical skills have gotten them very far in life.

The problem is: the decision to get married is made primarily with the heart. With feelings instead of thoughts.

These brilliant women are trying to think their way to answers. They examine their situations from every possible angle. Make endless pro-and-con lists. Do detailed cost-benefit analysis.

And still: they don’t know if their decision to marry this guy is right.

Because what they need to be doing is also feeling their way to the answers.

For many super smart brides, trusting their feelings in the big decision-making process is an undeveloped skill set. It can be challenging. Even scary and disorienting, relying on feelings for such an important decision.

They contact me because they are flummoxed. What usually gets them through hard decisions isn’t working with this getting-married thing.

I’m so glad when they begin to work with me. First, I ask them to share all the thinking that preceded their contacting me. Some even email me their pro-con lists, so I’m fully informed of the complexity of their situations.

Then we get to work at getting to the underlying FEELINGS about the relationship and the marriage. Together, we work to turn down the volume on the intellect and turn up the volume on the emotion. They don’t stop thinking, but they do start to connect and trust their feelings.

This doesn’t necessarily happen right away, so I was surprised and happy to get this email right after a first session with a bride:

You were extremely helpful to my thought process today and helping me quell the anxiety I have been feeling. I feel much less stressed and happy about moving forward.  🙂

It was helpful and reassuring to hear that other women lawyers can get trapped in thought processes like mine.

I’ve worked with many highly intellectual, thinking brides, and if you’re trying to “think” your way through a “feeling” decision, I can help you too. Contact me for a free 15-minute Zoom consultation today, and let’s see what we can do together.