Here’s the very successful story of Erin, a 27-year-old bride-to-be, who I helped get married this summer.
Do you see yourself in her story?
Before meeting with Allison, I felt terrified, isolated, and confused.
I was so scared that what I was feeling wasn’t “normal.”
Scared that seeing Allison meant I had somehow failed at being a bride-to-be.
Scared that I was making the wrong decision in choosing to marry my fiancé.
I also felt incredibly isolated.
I didn’t know who I could turn to with these doubts and worries that consumed my daily being.
It was scary to think about being so vulnerable with my family and friends, who expected me to be happy about my upcoming nuptials.
The rare times I had tried to breach the topic with a few trusted confidants, I left the conversations feeling worse than ever. I was so confused and felt utterly alone.
I felt helpless, sad, and frustrated — wasn’t my engagement supposed to be the happiest time of my life?
Working with Allison, I learned that everything I was experiencing was normal (and even to be expected!):
Simply having Allison remind me, time and time again, that what I was feeling and thinking was not abnormal, and that many brides-to-be experienced the same exact things was immensely reassuring.
To know that I wasn’t a defective bride lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders.
Allison also helped me to correctly identify my emotions.
Prior to our meetings, I was labeling everything as “wedding anxiety.”
Allison enabled me to take a step back and identify what was really going on. She helped me to realize that I was, in fact, angry at my Mom, or frustrated with my in-laws, or sad about the impending life changes.
And not only that, but Allison taught me to honor these feelings.
Before meeting with Allison, I had been suppressing all of the less-than-ideal emotions, under the guise that as a bride-to-be I should only be happy and excited.
Once I began truly feeling my emotions, I was able to go through the wedding planning process in a much more authentic way.
Because of this work, on my wedding day, I was ELATED!
I was able to truly enjoy every moment of the day.
However, the night of our rehearsal dinner I was an absolute wreck. I didn’t want to be there, and I barely made it through the night. The moment I got in the car to head home I broke down.
I sobbed for almost two hours, simply because I was so overwhelmed that the big day was imminent! As I was bawling my eyes out though, I kept hearing Allison’s voice encouraging me to feel my feelings in the most authentic way possible, and reminding me that these waves of emotion would pass.
I cried and cried, and cried some more, and fell asleep that night feeling utterly exhausted, unsure of what the morning would bring.
I woke up on my wedding day feeling SO EXCITED!
Because I had let myself feel nervous, scared, and worried the night before, and had allowed myself to process those feelings through uncontrolled crying, I was ready for the day ahead.
I had spent months preparing emotionally for this moment, and I was ready!
There were a few moments of nervousness and frustration over the course of the day, but I would acknowledge them and then move on.
Because I was truly honoring my feelings, the day was absolutely beautiful! I felt so in tune with myself, my husband(!) and those around me.
It was truly an amazing day!