Click play button to listen to blog in audio format.
Worried You're Not All Over Each Other All The Time?
For every bride who worries about her relationship because you’re no longer in the stay-in-bed-all-weekend-and-order-in-Chinese-food stage: this op-ed by psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky in the New York Times: “New Love: A Short Shelf Life”:
If we obsessed, endlessly, about our partners and had sex with them multiple times a day — every day — we would not be very productive at work or attentive to our children, our friends or our health. (To quote a line from the 2004 film “Before Sunset,” about two former lovers who chance to meet again after a decade, if passion did not fade, “we would end up doing nothing at all with our lives.” ) Indeed, the condition of being in love has a lot in common with the state of addiction and narcissism; if unabated, it will eventually exact a toll.
So if you and your fiance are actually able to take your hands off each other and function in the world as professionals, partners, family members and friends, read the full article.
Lyubomirsky defines the differences between passionate love and companionate love — a valuable and important distinction for every long-term (or about to become long-term) couple to keep in mind.
There’s nothing wrong if you’re not spending entire weekends in bed together anymore; hopefully, you did that when you were falling in love with each other. And sadly, you only get to fall in love for the first time with your fiance once.
Right now, however, you’re probably getting big “hits” of passionate love for him as you plan your wedding, have special weekends away, take vacations, dream of your honeymoon, and plan your futures together. As Lyubormirsky explains, women seek new experiences (planning a wedding sure is one, wouldn’t you say?), and get a greater “hit” of happiness from novelty than our guys do.
Rich stuff, this article.
So applicable to your life as a bride.
I can’t wait to get my hands on Sonja Lyubomirsky January 2013 book “The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does.” I’m going to give it to myself as a New Year’s present.
