Emotionally Engaged
617-935-3362
  • Free Consult
  • Unhappy Bride
  • Brides
    • Why???
    • What Brides Say
    • Could This Be You?
    • Post-Wedding
    • FAQs
    • Book
  • Grooms
  • Parents
  • Cold Feet
  • About
    • Media Appearances
  • Blog

Worried you're not all over each other all the time?

12/13/2012

2 Comments

 
For every bride who worries about her relationship because you're no longer in the stay-in-bed-all-weekend-and-order-in-Chinese-food stage:  this op-ed by psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky in the New York Times:  "New Love: A Short Shelf Life":  
If we obsessed, endlessly, about our partners and had sex with them multiple times a day — every day — we would not be very productive at work or attentive to our children, our friends or our health. (To quote a line from the 2004 film “Before Sunset,” about two former lovers who chance to meet again after a decade, if passion did not fade, “we would end up doing nothing at all with our lives.” ) Indeed, the condition of being in love has a lot in common with the state of addiction and narcissism; if unabated, it will eventually exact a toll.
So if you and your fiance are actually able to take your hands off each other and function in the world as professionals, partners, family members and friends, read the full article.  

Lyubomirsky defines the differences between passionate love and companionate love -- a valuable and important distinction for every long-term (or about to become long-term) couple to keep in mind.

There's nothing wrong if you're not spending entire weekends in bed together anymore; hopefully, you did that when you were falling in love with each other.  And sadly, you only get to fall in love for the first time with your fiance once.  

Right now, however, you're probably getting big "hits" of passionate love for him as you plan your wedding, have special weekends away, take vacations, dream of your honeymoon, and plan your futures together.  As Lyubormirsky explains, women seek new experiences (planning a wedding sure is one, wouldn't you say?), and get a greater "hit" of happiness from novelty than our guys do.  

Rich stuff, this article. 

So applicable to your life as a bride.

I can't wait to get my hands on Sonja Lyubomirsky January 2013 book“The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does.”  I'm going to give it to myself as a New Year's present.

Want to talk through where you are?Contact me for a free 15-minute consultation

Allison Moir-Smith
2 Comments
apartments for sale in new york city link
2/25/2015 01:00:01 pm

Excellent post, a friend of mine referred to this page when searching similar information.Just came across your blog and reading your beautiful words. Thanks for sharing such wonderful stuff with us.


Reply
new york luxury apartments link
2/25/2015 04:44:32 pm

This blog contains so many interesting stuff that makes me want to visit again and again. Look forward for more interesting updates.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    How to be a Happier
    ​Bride-to-Be

    Picture

    Free Consultation

    Blog Categories

    All
    Advice
    Anxiety
    Book To Blog
    Brides.com Blogs
    Brides: Feelings
    Brides: Sessions
    Brides: Success Stories
    Cold Feet
    Dear Newly Engaged Me
    Depression
    Emotionally Engaged
    Emotions
    Engagement
    Family
    Grief
    Help For Brides
    Holidays
    Love
    Mother
    Myths
    Psychology
    Real Emotions
    Relationships
    Sessions W Brides
    Wedding Day
    Wedding Planning
    Wedding Stress

    Archives

    May 2022
    April 2021
    April 2020
    March 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    December 2017
    March 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

    RSS Feed

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Free Consult
Cold Feet
Contact

Helping brides & grooms feel happier, calmer and better prepared for marriage since 2002.
​